You Know What Should Be Banned???

If I could...I would ban those motherfucking boxes of M&Ms and Starburst and fucking Kit Kats that these hood rat representatives go to Costco to get and then push in your face time after time after time on the train...

"Hi my name is Tyniek and I'm doing this to help raise some money for my basketball team and help put some money in my pocket..."

"Good afternoon, my name is Taniesha and I have M&M..peanut (they always offer it like that...I be listening carefully...m and m's...as well as the peanut m and m's but lets just shorten that shit one time...."m&m...peanut...I love it) starburst and twizzler for a dollar..."

I try to sit back and not let them ruin my ride but occasionally I listen to see if they offer anything new..red bulls? granola bars? condoms?

If your gonna scream all throughout the 4 train make it convenient for people...NOT selling us some stale ass candy youve been trucking around from homeroom to your sweaty ass gym locker....got the box all taped up to...like its a fucking ration in a video game that you rescued...I aint wit it...lets get a petition going and end the underage candy selling on the MTA before I slap the shit out of one of these kids...

Gully...

More urban vernacular for your ear...

" Rough and Rugged, Unpolished and Harcore"

" gangsta, thoro"

"I keeps it gully..."

Somethimes You're Just Overrated...

I have noticed a trend of women who are glorified in our society for no apparent reason. I have compiled a brief list to give you an idea of what i mean. I will update periodically and i will graciously accept suggestions...

Sharon Stone: I just don't see the appeal. Yes, she uncrossed her legs and showed us some crusty used up pussy lips when the majority of those reading this blog were just hitting adolescence, but if you really look outside the box she is nothing more than a slutty Susan Powter....

Jessica Simpson: Definitely dumb besides just overrated, but given the list of lames she chooses to date time after time, her stock has dropped so low she will be dating regular broke non-celeb dudes by labor day...

Julia Roberts: Shes about as overrated as Michael Vick even before the dog fighting. Every time I hear someone claiming she is beautiful, its always an ugly bitch. At least the other two broads on the list thus far are slutty, this chick reminds you of one of your boys annoying stuck up sisters that you DONT want to fuck...

Jennifer Aniston: Ahh, the queen of over hype herself. She even tricked Brad Pitt into thinking she was good looking for a period of time. But he eventually woke up and I think most of America has. I have never seen a case of a more normal mediocre woman get so much hype and praise. I think she gave middle America hope that they too can somehow trick society by being on a shitty TV show with a catchy theme song...

SUSPECT: Sex And The City: The Movie

Four old bitches talking about life and sex...
Hmm...
I dont know...you need to stretch that out to 2 hours and 15 minutes???(Yes, i've done some research)
Bring it to the big screen?
Frankly, I'm not buying it, lets take a closer look..
For starters....who exactly is having all this sex with these washed up over the hill New York career-oriented women?
Who is sponsoring this fantasy, Viagra?
Cialis?
Are we to believe some 40 yr old professional stiffs are really blowing Carrie and co's backs out to the point that the quartet have 135 min worth of solid material?
I for one, cant be fooled. I'm a product of the 80's and this shit is the EXACT same thing as the Golden Girls...4 chicks....3 kindaaa slutty ones...and one thats one fuck short of a Valtrex subscription....
Yeah...gross...i know..
Point is...this isnt a recipe for a film...
A 30 minute sitcom? definitely
A 1 hour HBO series? why the hell not
But if it was meant to be, we would have watched this movie in '87, and Dorothy and Blanch would have been pushing the the envelope with a taboo conversation about dildos...
Yeah...gross...i know
Now i know im not the first son of a bitch out there to compare the two but i know im definitely the first to bring herpes and dildoes into the equation!
Just remember though folks...when you step into that theater...and those opening credits start rolling...pound for pound...Blanch was a way better slut than Samantha will ever be!!!

Thank you and goodnight!


TheLogicalSmoker

"You Wanna Play Chicago?"

I remember in high school we used to puff L's on the daily after school...various locations...wherever we couldnt get caught basically....now a lot of those times we would end up smoking and then playing a game called Chicago...now i know everyone is familiar with beer pong and quarters and all that but pot smoking games are far less mainstream...so lemme break it down....lets just say we have 4 smokers in a cipher...smoker #1 takes his 2 hits...proceeds to hold the last one in and passes the blunt to smoker #2....now heres where it gets tricky...smoker #2 does the same thing smoker #1 did then passes the blunt to smoker #3...smoker #1 doesnt exhale the smoke until he recieves the blunt back...this shit gets ugly! Essentially you got 4 ppl smoking as fast as they can and holding in as much weed as they can for long periods of time...so if you werent familiar before...whew...find 3 friends and a dutch ASAP!

Note: I once heard a rumor that Chicago isnt a permanent name...and you can make it whatever city you want...ie "Do you want to play Boston?"...i kinda dont believe that though...cuz im from Brooklyn and that shit sounds wayyy hotter than Chicago... "Yo you wanna play Brooklyn?"...fuck it if it aint broke dont fix it..."You wanna play Chicago?"


Do you know of any bud games?
Let a brother know...I'll fucks with it...


One Love,
The Logical Smoker

i hate this shit...

...you know what i hate..i love vitamin water...but why in the world would they package it so its allllll the way to the top when you open it....i would say a good 7 out of 10 times....i spill at least a little drop...fix that shit...one eighteenth of an ounce less would make my motherfucking day...talk to snapple they got their shit on point

hmm..

Im about to fuck your whole head up...
Did you ever think...that the decline in concerts and live music in general
is linked to the ban of smoking in bars and arenas?
I mean...lets be real..am i supposed to be the lone dude...
in a crowd standing up with a bowl and bud in my pocket???
I mean im not a second hand smoke advocate but come on...
this aint chukie cheese! im trying to get baked man...and what about movies?
2 smoking nights a week at the UA...boom...actually that may get out of hand...
every thug in new york city bringing an ounce to take their daughter
to catch some Hannah Montana shit...
Im on some if i ruled the world shit...i need to shut up now...