SUSPECT: Sex And The City: The Movie

Four old bitches talking about life and sex...
Hmm...
I dont know...you need to stretch that out to 2 hours and 15 minutes???(Yes, i've done some research)
Bring it to the big screen?
Frankly, I'm not buying it, lets take a closer look..
For starters....who exactly is having all this sex with these washed up over the hill New York career-oriented women?
Who is sponsoring this fantasy, Viagra?
Cialis?
Are we to believe some 40 yr old professional stiffs are really blowing Carrie and co's backs out to the point that the quartet have 135 min worth of solid material?
I for one, cant be fooled. I'm a product of the 80's and this shit is the EXACT same thing as the Golden Girls...4 chicks....3 kindaaa slutty ones...and one thats one fuck short of a Valtrex subscription....
Yeah...gross...i know..
Point is...this isnt a recipe for a film...
A 30 minute sitcom? definitely
A 1 hour HBO series? why the hell not
But if it was meant to be, we would have watched this movie in '87, and Dorothy and Blanch would have been pushing the the envelope with a taboo conversation about dildos...
Yeah...gross...i know
Now i know im not the first son of a bitch out there to compare the two but i know im definitely the first to bring herpes and dildoes into the equation!
Just remember though folks...when you step into that theater...and those opening credits start rolling...pound for pound...Blanch was a way better slut than Samantha will ever be!!!

Thank you and goodnight!


TheLogicalSmoker

"You Wanna Play Chicago?"

I remember in high school we used to puff L's on the daily after school...various locations...wherever we couldnt get caught basically....now a lot of those times we would end up smoking and then playing a game called Chicago...now i know everyone is familiar with beer pong and quarters and all that but pot smoking games are far less mainstream...so lemme break it down....lets just say we have 4 smokers in a cipher...smoker #1 takes his 2 hits...proceeds to hold the last one in and passes the blunt to smoker #2....now heres where it gets tricky...smoker #2 does the same thing smoker #1 did then passes the blunt to smoker #3...smoker #1 doesnt exhale the smoke until he recieves the blunt back...this shit gets ugly! Essentially you got 4 ppl smoking as fast as they can and holding in as much weed as they can for long periods of time...so if you werent familiar before...whew...find 3 friends and a dutch ASAP!

Note: I once heard a rumor that Chicago isnt a permanent name...and you can make it whatever city you want...ie "Do you want to play Boston?"...i kinda dont believe that though...cuz im from Brooklyn and that shit sounds wayyy hotter than Chicago... "Yo you wanna play Brooklyn?"...fuck it if it aint broke dont fix it..."You wanna play Chicago?"


Do you know of any bud games?
Let a brother know...I'll fucks with it...


One Love,
The Logical Smoker

i hate this shit...

...you know what i hate..i love vitamin water...but why in the world would they package it so its allllll the way to the top when you open it....i would say a good 7 out of 10 times....i spill at least a little drop...fix that shit...one eighteenth of an ounce less would make my motherfucking day...talk to snapple they got their shit on point

hmm..

Im about to fuck your whole head up...
Did you ever think...that the decline in concerts and live music in general
is linked to the ban of smoking in bars and arenas?
I mean...lets be real..am i supposed to be the lone dude...
in a crowd standing up with a bowl and bud in my pocket???
I mean im not a second hand smoke advocate but come on...
this aint chukie cheese! im trying to get baked man...and what about movies?
2 smoking nights a week at the UA...boom...actually that may get out of hand...
every thug in new york city bringing an ounce to take their daughter
to catch some Hannah Montana shit...
Im on some if i ruled the world shit...i need to shut up now...